Posts Tagged ‘Richard Keys’

A third away win for Manchester United in this season and that puts the gap between them and Arsenal at 5 points. Arsenal, meanwhile, on the same day, ended up booking a place at Wember-ley for the Carling Cup final. We now know that their opponents on that day will be Birmingham City who beat West Ham 4-3 on aggregate.

More on that in a bit, but first lets start off with Man United’s terrible first half performance at Bloomfield Road.

You know there’s something wrong with a United performance when Nemanja Vidic almost scores an own goal. I don’t even know where to start. The defence, the midfield, Wayne Rooney? I don’t even understand why Sir Alex started with the 4-3-3 formation when the 4-4-2 has been working wonders thus far. Of course, it was changed before half time with Rooney playing up front with Berba and Gibson moving to the left leaving Scholes and Fletcher in the center of midfield. After that they played as if their life depended on it. Those of you who don’t sense sarcasm in that statement can kindly kill yourself in a painful manner.

As woeful as United’s first half was, Blackpool’s was fantastic. Charlie Adam was spreading the ball here, there and everywhere, and more often than not, Patrice Evra was caught of out position leading to Blackpool attacks. Evra was perhaps at fault for the second goal after he was caught ballwatching while DJ Campbell headed it into the back of the net. What’s worrying for United is that defending from set pieces has traditionally been one of their strengths, but this time the marking was all over the place.

What changed it in the second half was the introduction of Ryan Giggs who brought more urgency into the game. Another pivotal moment was the removal of the ineffective Shrek, for whom a certain Javier Hernandez came on. If Rooney continues playing like this, United fans will have to change his chant slightly from “White Pele” to “White Adebayor” perhaps.

By the way, Berbatov is top scorer for United with 19 goals and Hernandez has 8. Nani has more goals than Shrek who has only netted 3 in the season. Why on earth aren’t Berbatov and Hernandez United’s front pairing? Its a question only the gum chewing bespectacled wise old man can answer.

Entertaining - but he might pay the price for it

In the end, it finished 3-2 in favour of United. This was perhaps as much because of Ian Holloway’s policy of attacking as because of United’s policy of attacking. Towards the end, United were easily breaking and stretching Blackpool. Its definitely entertaining football, but will it help them fight off relegation this season is anyone’s guess. After all they’re only 6 points clear of 18th placed Wigan.

Arsenal are going to Wember-ley

Its been so long since Arsenal have gone to Wembley that their coach driver claims he’s forgotten the way. He was quoted as saying “I think I’ll have to go and buy a map. But the problem is, the mapmakers are holding out for a buck and Arsene [Wenger] has said that he won’t pay more than 50 pence.”

The crisis was resolved after the map paid the other 50 pence.

By the way, this blog (and me specifically) predicted that Arsenal would end their trophy drought this season. So I hope they beat Birmingham.

Richard Keys is doing too much Crystal Meth
“There are some dark forces at work here. I asked if we could make people aware of the fact that [Massey and Keys] had had a conversation and thought it was best for both parties to move on. I was told ‘no’. And 24 hours passed, by which time the world had gone mad. I don’t know why I was told ‘no’… I remember saying to Sian ‘I need to make this official, on behalf of Andy and myself we unreservedly apologise for our behaviour. It was wrong.’

.

Careful with that meth, Keysey

That’s part of the official apology tendered by Richard Keys. Who on earth are the dark forces here? Sauron? Voldemort? Silly me, of course he’s referring to the Sith Lord Palpatine.

Fact of the matter is – Keys was wrong. I don’t know what difference it would’ve made if he’s apologized on Monday or on Tuesday, so long as this Monday are Tuesday isn’t a year, five or twenty down the line.


 

 

 

I suspect most of you are familiar with Andy Gray, commentator, analyst and Scotch of great and undeserved renown.
Well you may have also heard that he has just been shitcanned by Sky who provide us (via Espn) with our Premier League fix.

"Hi, I'm an idiot, and I no longer have a job"

The circumstances of his dismissal are fairly simple. Think of the Dean Jones-Hashim Amla fiasco and replace Jones with Gray and Muslims with Women.
The idiot thought his mike was off and said some stupid things(YouTube it if you wish to hear).

Gray and his colleague and fellow brainless idiot Richard Keys basically questioned a woman’s ability to understand anything as ‘complex’ as the offside rule and trotted out the general “they belong in the kitchen making me soup” attitude. The context being the officiating of Lineswoman Sian Massey in the Pool-Wolves game

She got it all right actually

However sexism is not the only thing that fills up Andy Gray’s cup of idiocy . Gray is one of the most shameless proponents of Xenophobia in English football, and unlike Racism or Sexism there is an institutionalised approval almost bordering on encouragement of xenophobia in the modern game, from the media, the FA and from talking (sh*t)heads like Gray.

Anyone who has watched Premier League football over the last few years shoud be able to recall the numerous times when British and Foreign players have been given differential treatment by all quarters.

Consider the instance when Eduardo dived in the Champions League against Celtic, there was an immediate queue of people forming to formally condemn him as the worst human being since Hitler. Contrast this with the studied ignoring of Steven Gerrard’s oft repeated and frankly badly acted gamesmanship. These double standards extend beyond diving.

Rooney’s vicious (and hilarious) attack on some Portuguese bugger’s nuts were explained away as the evil foreigner Ronaldo’s fault, just because Ronaldo was supposed to have been making fun of him. If I attacked someone’s genitals everytime somebody poked fun at me…well I’m pretty sure society would frown upon it.

This xenophobia seems quite often to go hand in hand with another moronic attitide prevalent in England today. The notion that Leg-breaking assaults are “part and parcel” of the game. Well. No, they’re not. The two trends often tie together withpPoor, innocent English “He’s not that kind of player” types like Martin Taylor and Ryan Shawcross are painted as Freaking victims of the tricksy, dishonest foreigners who have no business to be skillful or have quick feet.

Xenophobia is now visible even in the treatment of managers by the English press. Contrast the treatment good old uncle Woy got from the press with what Rafa recieved. Contrast the furore over Sam Allardyce’s dismissal with the sneering treatment of Avram Grant.

Andy Gray who was always quickest to jump to John Terry’s defense for a cynical foul or to Gerrard’s defense for a dive and just as quick to condemn a foreign player as “one of those types” i.e. Cheats is/was but one of the symptoms of a general malaise infecting English football, one that is particularly odious to us foreign supporters of the PL.